


I'm Not Okay

by mairalynn



Series: All of my One-Shots [13]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comfort, Comfort No Hurt, Declarations Of Love, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Fluff without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:18:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22470154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mairalynn/pseuds/mairalynn
Summary: The reader suffers from depression, and Neville goes to her dorm only to find her in a depressive episode. Comfort and soft Neville ensues.
Relationships: Neville Longbottom/Reader, Neville Longbottom/You
Series: All of my One-Shots [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/816699
Kudos: 50





	I'm Not Okay

**Author's Note:**

> This is legit just a comfort fic I wrote for myself lmao. I have depression and Anxiety and this is pretty much what a lot of my bad days look like (although I never have a Neville lmao) so if your depression is different to mine then I'm sorry, I just portrayed it how I know it is for me.
> 
> Also, if any of you are apercu readers, I'm currently in the process of rewriting the whole thing to make it actually make sense so uhh, keep a lookout for that in the coming months. It won't come for a while though, because I'm really busy with Senior stuff and AP work but it will be arriving nonetheless.

He found her on the rug in front of the fire, staring into it blankly. “Love?” Neville called out, taking a few steps into the head girls dorm. She barely turned her head, looking at him tiredly. “Are you okay?” He asked, taking the last few steps towards her and getting down on his knees beside her.

“I will be” She whispered vaguely feeling the tears slip down her face.

“Hey,” Neville reached and grabbed her hand, her still looking down into the fire as if it contained the universe. “What’s going on, talk to me sweetheart.”

“It’s a bad depression day, that’s all.” She looked at him and smiled weakly, and he knew that that was the most she could do right now.

“Oh,” Neville felt useless, he’d never been with her while she was depressed, he didn’t know how to help her. “Is there any way I can help?”

“Can you just… hold me? Please?” She looked away from him, ashamed. She hated asking for help, no matter how much she wanted it.

“Of course, love. Anytime.” Neville lifted her onto his lap, cradling her head to his chest. “You’re going to be okay, babygirl. I promise. We’ll get through this together, okay? I….I love you.” He pretended not to feel his shirt getting wet as she cried.

“I love you too Nev.” She whispered into his shirt, so low that he could barely hear it. He smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I just hate bothering you so much, you don’t deserve that.”

Neville pulled back, making her raise her head from his chest. “You could never bother me sweetheart. You never have. I love you Y/N, every single part of you. You’re not a burden baby, you could never be a burden to me. You’re… well... you. You’re the reason I wake up everyday, I love all of you. How you ramble when you’re excited about something, how excited you get after a great test, how meticulous you are when you’re in the garden, I love every part of you sweetheart. If anything, I don’t deserve the amazing person that you are, love. You’re so strong and I know that you can do anything that you set your mind to-” She kissed him. Not much, just a quick peck, but it was enough to shut him up.

“Thank you. I’m still not okay, but thank you for that. Can we go to sleep and cuddle now? Or is it too early?” She squinted at the clock across the room, trying to read it through the remains of her tears.

Without warning he stood up, and she quickly wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her to the bedroom. He set her on the edge of the bed, thinking. “Do you want to shower or go to bed?”

“I don’t want to leave you” she murmured, running her hands along her arms. “But I kind of need to bathe.”

“Bath or shower?” He asked her, crossing the room to the bathroom door. 

“A bath sounds nice, I haven’t had one in such a long time.” She fell back onto the plush comforter, staring up at the ceiling blankly while waiting for him.

Neville came back in, his button up rolled up to his elbows. If she were in a better mood she might have appreciated how good he looked right then as he ran his hand through his hair.

“Do you want me to join you in the bath or do you want to be alone?”

“Can you join me? I don’t want to be alone right now, please.” She sat back up and looked at him pleadingly.

“Anything my love desires.” He crossed the room and leaned down and exaggerated kissing her hand. She smiled, rolling her eyes at his antics. “There it is, that beautiful smile.” She lightly hit him in the arm and he chuckled, continuing. “Come on, let’s get you into a warm bath.” She walked behind him until she got to the doorway and could see herself in the mirror. She stopped suddenly and Neville turned around, confused.

“I hate what I see in the mirror.” She looked at him, her hands crossing over her stomach impulsively. “Everytime I see myself I hate my looks a little bit more. I can barely stand seeing my reflection in the shower handle. I cry almost every time I’m in the shower because of it. I hate my reflection. I’ll never be perfect or pretty and I know it. I guess I should get used to it by now.” Her eyes darted all over her reflection, her hands moving from her stomach and moving to trace alone her cheekbones. She looked at him, “sometimes I wish I could see myself the way you see me.”

“You wanna know what I see?” At her nod, he moved behind her, setting his chin on the top of her head. “I see your arms that give the best hugs that make me feel safe every time they’re wrapped around me. I see your shoulders that seeming hold the weight of the world,” his hands moved up her arms and to her shoulders. “I see the place where your heart is, the one that’s so full of love for anyone who will take it. I see your beautiful stomach,” his hands moved to rest on top of her stomach, his large hands taking up some of the space. “This stomach that has hurt so much from laughing, this tummy that makes the best pillow. I see your thighs which keep your hands warm in the winter, your thighs that make me want to kiss all over you and tell you how beautiful you are. I see not only your body, but everything that makes you, you.” 

Tears slipped down her face, and she moved to hide her face with her hands, knowing how bad she looked when she cried. “Hey,” he laid his hands on top of hers on her face and moved them from her face. “You’re beautiful, don’t forget that. No matter what, you’re bloody gorgeous. I know that you don’t like how red your nose gets when you cry but I think it makes you even more beautiful.” He rubbed her arms and moved in front of her so she could no longer see herself in the mirror. “Now, can we get you undressed and into the bath before it gets cold?” She giggled while crying and wiped her nose with her hand while nodding at him.

He unbuttoned the buttons on her button down and moved it off of her shoulders, letting it drop to the ground. He took his time moving his hands down her body, appreciating every part of her. He removed her skirt and she helped to step out of it and then her shaky hands moved to unbutton his shirt. He let her do it, knowing that she’d need to feel like she’s doing something and not being useless. She pushed it off of his shoulders and ran her hands down his chest, unzipping his zipper, her hands still shaking. He took her hands from him and pushed his pants down, leaving them both in their underwear. She reached behind her and removed her bra while looking him in the eyes, looking away as she shed it and then her hands moved to her underwear and removed them. Neville reached out and kissed her, his hand laying on her neck.

“You’re so beautiful, I don’t know how I got you.” He whispered laying his forehead against hers.

“I don’t know how I was so lucky as to get you, Neville Longbottom.” Her hand moved up to rest against his jaw. He smiled and moved away, removing his underwear and stepping into the bath, sitting down and holding his hand out to her. She grabbed it and climbed into the tub, settling in between his legs and laid her head on his shoulder. “I love you, thank you for this.”

“Of course, I would do anything for you love, all you have to do is ask.” His arms wrapped around her middle and his nose laid against her temple as he relaxed in the hot water. 

After the shower, they both climbed into bed wrapped in fluffy PJs in order to keep warm in the scottish winter. Neville pulled her close to him on the bed and held her until she fell asleep. When her breathing leveled, he pushed a bit of hair out of her face and whispered “I’m going to marry you someday, Y/N L/N.”


End file.
